You probably won't be cremated straight away, since there isn't always a cremator available.   The mourners may have already left the crematorium by the time you are cremated.   The coffin is cremated with the body.   The coffin handles are probably plastic and melt in the intense heat.

As an adult you will probably be cremated alone. The primary chamber of the cremator (where you are placed for cremation) is usually only big enough for one coffin. Although, in many areas a mother and infant can be cremated together (as long as they arrive at the crematorium in the same coffin). Also there is provision in some parts of the North America to allow a husband and wife burn together, if they do not exceed the capacity of the cremator.

When the gas fired cremator is heated up to around 1450 degrees F it is ready for your coffin.   If the cremator is too hot when your coffin goes in, a "flash ignition" could occur.   In this case your coffin would be alight before it was fully in the chamber and you could set the cremator room on fire!

The operator lines up the cataflaque with the mouth of the cremator, stands well back, presses a button, and you are slid into the cremator.   You will go into the cremator head first. Going in head first helps with the drainage.   The operator then closes the door. The flame port - a giant blow torch nozel sitting above your chest - blasts your coffin with a 2800 degrees F jet of flame.

Once your coffin has ignited the burner is turned off as the temperature is now enough to sustain your combustion.   Your coffin soon collapses.   At this point your cremation may get out of control and and produce lots of smoke or over heat the cremation unit.   (Although part of me finds the merciless efficiency of modern cremation awesome - another part likes to think that I might just cause a hiccup in the process).

The flames now attack you directly.   Your skin and hair immediately scorch, char, and burn. You and I are 85% water.   You will burn outside to inside in a rapid cycle of layer-by-layer dehydration and ignition.   The heat dries out your skin; which then ignites. Your next layer - muscle and fat - dries out.   Your muscle and fat ignites. Air to feed this process is provided through jets in the ceiling or sides of the primary chamber   The burning of your fat raises the temperature to 1900 degrees F.   It stays at this level until 80% of you has been consumed.   After the muscle and fat your internal organs burn.

Not your safety of course, you are dead, and in any case the whole point of the process is your destruction.   But there are a number of risks to crematorium staff and equipment.   Heart pacemakers, whose batteries ignite in the intense heat, must be removed prior to cremation.   Many crematoriums refuse to allow possessions to be cremated along with there owner.   In Sweden explosive farewell tokens such as bottles of alcohol, ammunition cartridges and pieces of fireworks have been put in coffins.

Silicon breast implants have been known to explode during cremation.   So you could go out with quite a bang, although reports from Southern California say the silicone turned into a sticky goo on the floor of the cremator.   On the other hand, a UK crematorium had no difficulties in a test it ran

Different people burn differently.   If you thin without much fat, you will be more difficult to burn, since you are a mass of wet tissue.   I have a moderate amount of fat, so will be much easier to cremate.   My fat will ignite instantly on the application of flame and produce a great surge of heat.   If you are obese cremating you will be "like burning kerosene" (according to a cremation furnace manufacturer).   I have read reports of fat from larger bodies actually running out the cremator door burning as it goes.   The worst to burn are bodies that have died in fires as the charring makes a crust that doesn't ignite well or drowning victims because of the extreme water levels.

The whole of your cremation will be micro-processor controlled.   The computer will make sure that your cremation is well under control, clean and fuel efficient.   The operator will be checking your progress to ensure that the cremation is carried out safely.

You should be coming out of the chimney as steam and carbon dioxide. All ready to feed the plants that fed you.   Unfortunately your cremation will produce lots of nasty pollutants too.   Mercury (from your fillings), carbon monoxide, hydrogen chloride, and smoke.   To keep you from polluting the environment the products of your cremation go into a second chamber where a secondary burner burns off any remaining gases and smoke particles.   Your gases might even go through filter bags to clean them further.   However, no system is perfect, you still might manage to puff brown smoke out of the chimney for a couple of minutes.

Heat from cremation furnaces in some Swedish crematories is absorbed into the city heating network.   Neat idea, but it must feel a bit funny warming your toes on the heat generated by reducing someone to ashes.

As the tissue of your body is destroyed your skeleton is exposed.   The bones in your hands and feet will appear first as they have less muscle and fat to cover them.   In time your hands and feet will drop away from your arms and legs.   The bones in your hands and feet stay united by their ligaments for a little while after this.

Your stomach will burn quite slowly, your lungs more slowly still.   Your brain is especially resistant to complete combustion.   Your liver and spleen will probably be the last organs burn because they are high in moisture.   As your internal organs are consumed your spine will become visible and the temperature will drop to 1600 degrees F.   In the words of one writer you will briefly be "an awesome sight: the magnificent structure of a human skeleton glowing".

Your cremation continues as your skeleton falls apart.   At this point your spinal column, hips and skull will still be identifiable and some of your organs will remain.   The main burner may get turned on to finish reducing you to lumps of calcium, or more high pressure air and the radiant heat stored in the brickwork may be enough to complete the process.

It could take between 45 minutes and 2 hours to cremate you.   As I said fat bodies burn faster.   Small bodies are quick because there is not a lot of fuel (that's us fuel for the furnace) to consume.   Some furnaces are more powerful than others. Some burn human beings at a rate of 100 lbs an hour, for others it is 200 lbs an hour.   (That means I'll take between 1 and 2 hours!)

There are no flames at this stage, but the chamber bed glows orange.   Small chunks of whitish- gray debris lie in the oven.   Perhaps a particularly large clump sits about halfway back, just about where your hip was.   You have been reduced to burnt bone fragments.

The operator opens the door of the cremator and vigorously rakes the silvery debris - all that remains of you - into a chute that leads down to a stainless steel bin.   You make a clinking sound as you move - like embers being stirred in a fireplace. You now weigh between 4 and 8 pounds.

Your remnants are now left to cool.   Several of your bones will be clearly visible among the cooling chips and chunks.   Perhaps a piece of hip.   Perhaps an 8 -inch strip from your arm.   Maybe a ball that once fitted your hip or shoulder.   In fact, your entire skeleton will be there.   Our bones are largely calcium, which burns only after lengthy exposure to temperatures much higher than those in the cremator.

A powerful magnet will remove any metal from your ashes.   Artificial joints and heart valves will be taken out and later buried in the crematorium grounds.   Your silver and gold jewelry will have melted and fused with your ashes.

Once you have cooled down you will be poured into a machine called a cremulator.   The cremulator resembles a small spin dryer. A drum slightly larger than a paint can sits inside.   The operator closes the lid and hits a switch.   Metal balls grind you into smaller and smaller particles. You are ground down to something with the texture of sand.   You then drop through a perforated sieve into a metal pan below.   It will take about 20 minutes to complete the processing of your ashes.

You are 4 to 8 lbs of (mostly) bone material - calcium, phosphorus, and magnesium.   Ground down into a form that be quickly broken down by bacteria and weathering in the environment.   All that is left of you now will probably be grayish material - although you may be tinted due to copper in the jewelery cremated with you.   You are now ready to be used and recycled by plants if that's what you want.   You are easy to pour, store and t ransport. ...And you are easy to spill.   But at least if someone spills you, they can quickly sweep or vacuum you up again.

There may be no recoverable remains from the cremation of an infant.   This is because:

1. Cremated remains are mainly calicified bone material and in a infant most of the bones have not fully developed.
2. Also an infant's small size means that the force of either the burner or the airjets blows all remains away.

Some crematoria put the infant casket into a stainless steel large pan to try to contain as much ash as possible.   This procedure usually about yields 2 tablespoons of ash.

Now you know the facts, do you want to be cremated?   You know it makes sense.   By visiting the Virtual Crematorium site you can record your desire to go out in a big burn, and get a personalized idea of what your body's last few hours might be like.   The site is free, but you have to put up with a few ads (for cremation urns!) on the page.

Of course you can use the Virtual Crematorium to book a virtual funeral for your ex-lover or boss.   It may be bad Karma (especially if you mail them the site address) but can be very theraputic!